One Monday morning Mrs Armitage woke up at 9.00. Mr Armitage woke up and yelled at Mrs Armitage and said "It's 9.00". "Slithering snakes!" Mrs Armitage said. She jumped in her clothes and drove to Manurewa Central School. "Oh no! I've got a flat tyre. Now I'm going to be even later," she thought. Mr Armitage fixed it in 5 hours.
Mrs Armitage jumped in the car. “Oh no!” Mrs Armitage said. “I’ve got no petrol, now I’m going to be more late!” she yelled at herself. Eventually she arrived with more petrol. “Finally we can make a start!”
An interesting story for the first day of the school year, well done. You made good use of the challenge,and you were careful with your speech marks. I like the expression "slithering snakes" It's new to me.
ReplyDeleteWell done! This piece has great energy. I can really feel the frustration in the Armitage household. You have also made good use of speech.
ReplyDeleteNext steps- yelled is a great speech verb, but try not to overuse it. What could you use instead, in your second paragraph?
Mrs Hames, Team 100, London, UK.
This is a really funny story Alistar i really liked it.
ReplyDeleteBy:Mehar